Recorded live (vocal and guitar simultaneously) at Whiskey Hill Studios in Woodside, CA in 2011. Engineered by Roger Choplin. Mix-mastered by Vince Hudson in Redwood City, CA in 2012. Guitar and vocals by Paul Fifield.

In between my two marriages, in 1983, I got into a relationship that began locally but became long distance when she moved 400 miles away to further her education. Naturally, we had frequent phone calls. One evening she called and began the conversation with, “I have something I need to tell you.” My heart sank immediately. “This can’t be good,” I thought. It wasn’t. “What?” I asked. She said, “You’re no longer my favorite person.” Silence on my end. “Well, you’re still in the top five!” she countered. I would tell that story periodically to friends and finally my wife convinced me to make a song out of it. While I was working on the song I shared it in a songwriters circle, a gathering where songwriters share works in progress and solicit feedback. I already had the chorus written, in which I mention that I’m number five. A songwriter, one who relentlessly wrote humorous songs, suggested that I was missing a golden opportunity to use Number 2. He was right. So I worked that concept into the final verse and the song then had a punch line. Not sure I would have thought of that myself. Thanks Stevie. - Paul Fifield

I’m Number Five
© Paul Fifield  2012   All Rights Reserved

My girlfriend called me the other day, with something important she just had to say   
First words out of her mouth put me on the floor
She said "Things have changed; I've had to choose
And it's hard on me to give you the news, you're not my favorite person anymore."

So flabbergasted I could not speak, how could she say such a thing to me?        
Big ol’ teardrops welled up in my eyes
Well, she must have sensed she'd crossed the line, so she bought herself a little time
And said "Don't worry, honey, you're in the top five."

   Oh, I'm number five, I'm number five       
   I'm the fifth most wonderful person alive
   In the whole universe only four are not worse
   I guess I should be satisfied... I'm number five

All those months I was number one, she was telling me I was Mr. Wonderful        
I could do no wrong... or so it seemed
I’m still the same guy I was then, but pretty soon I’ll be number ten
And this ain’t helping build my self-esteem  

       I'm in a slow downward spiral, losing out to unknown rivals    
       I'm not the kind of guy to sit around,
       Doing nothing while my world is spinning down
       Gotta find a way to turn this mess around

So I spoke with her this morning, dropped right in without a warning   
I felt the urge to dump an I.O.U.
I said "Here is all your stuff, this is the end, you're being flushed
And I’ll always think of you as number two.”

   Oh, I'm number five, I'm number five       
   I'm the fifth most wonderful person alive
   In the whole universe only four are not worse
   But how can I be satisfied... I'm number five

   Oh, I'm number five, I'm number five       
   I'm the fifth most wonderful person alive
   In the whole universe only four are not worse
   But how can I be satisfied... I'm number five